The Funeral
by Ariannette
Summary: Sequel to Ballad Of Big Nothing...When Peter dies, he doesn't really. HE's left in the in between until Claire can get over him. But will she be able too?
1. Introduction

_The Funeral_

_**Introduction**_

I'm dead.

I'm sure of this- I could see myself physically dying in Claire's arms, as I drew my last breaths. The tears that were shining in her eyes where there, I even saw her holding me hours afterwards- hoping, praying I would wake up. But I know I won't- it's the end this time, I am dead.

I know it.

And even though I know this to be the truth, I'm breathing, and feeling, and hearing things around me. I'm on a cold concrete floor. I can feel a slight breeze run through my hair, and, slowly, very slowly- my palms press on to the floor for support as I push my self to a standing position.

The room I'm in, isn't just a room, its made out of glass, and has a glowing- burning, magnificent light that shines in, through every direction. For a few seconds I take my time to look around and truly gather what I'm witnessing. Edges are blurred and soft, but _sharp_ and clear at the same time. What's happening? This can't be heaven, I don't feel the serene feelings- I don't see my _father- _then again, I don't see anyone.

Only one thought radiates through out my mind now. Claire. I want to find her, see her, hold her. Because if I'm not dead, nothing will ever hold me apart from her anymore.

Its the drive to see and feel her again that drives me slowly out of the greenhouse in which I am in. Once I finally leave, I realize where it is exactly that I am.

The Deveaux building.

And there- as if no time has passed at all, sits Charles Deveaux- in his wheelchair, with a smile on his face. Seeing him, it confuses me, isn't he dead? Aren't I alive? Am I dreaming? He's so calm and collected, he looks happy to see me, as if he had been expecting me to come out of the greenhouse.

I swallow and feel that my throat is dry- another testament that it is not heaven. There isn't any suffering in heaven, this can't be it.

Charles takes a deep breath, and his dimples protrude as his smile widens, "You're not dead yet Peter."

I knew this already, yet hearing is affirmation kind of shocks me. Its as if my subconscious believed me to be truly dead. My heart starts to beat outrageously fast, and I realize that it's another confirmation- a beating heart.

"But you're dead…"

He nods, "I am technically dead- but only in the world that we both come from. To us, this very moment- where we reside, is the, in- between. It's, _The Funeral_."

"Why are we here?" I ask, feeling a wind pick up, and goose-bumps build on my arms.

"We're here, because it's where we need to be, it's where we are forced to be. See, our body is dead, and though we've left the living world behind- the memory and ache for us is what keeps us here. It's someone in the living, that refuses to let us rest. And we will be here, until they can move on."

I don't need him to tell me who it is that is holding me here, captive, and unable to go to wherever it is that my destination will be. I know on my own that its, Claire.

I look around, "It doesn't seem so bad."

Charles chuckles, and smiles sadly, "That's because I am here, Peter. But _The Funeral_, becomes lonely once you realize, that you're own your own, viewing the living. See, you can see everything that happens- you can hear them, but you can't physically touch them- or be with them. You're here, by yourself, in a deserted world- until its time for you to pass."

Something random goes through my brain then, that I hadn't thought about in years. A person, I missed, but I guess I forgot about, and realizing that I've forgotten about her, makes me feel mildly guilty, "Where's Simone?"

"She's passed, as has Isaac. Where they are now, I cannot tell you- I only hope of being able to join them."

That makes me feel better, but then I remember my situation, and my chest aches again, "So when is it that you leave?"

His wrinkles increase on his forehead as his eyebrows raise, and he exhales, "You I leave, after you've done your visit."

The wind picks up even more, until I can see the leaves of plants moving violently. There's also a hissing noise coming from a distant place, that I can't pin point- and suddenly my own _Funeral _is beginning to scare me.

"What's the 'visit'?"

"You're allowed to choose one person, to see the very last time, Peter. Choose wisely, because it's time."

After that, everything goes black.

* * *

**Ari's** Note: hehehe. i know i totally stopped at a point where you guys are like dammit! but hey, i want to devote the first chapter to a totally fluffy paire- well um, as fluffy as it can get with their situation lol. AND YES! its finally happening!!!! i'm finally starting to write it! yay me! jk lol please tell me what you think and if you love it or not. and dont worry its not going to be in first person, that was just the intro. if you guys have any requests, let me know!


	2. Chapter 1: The Visit

**The Funeral**

_Chapter 1_

_"The Visit"_

My vision came back, with Claire's bedroom in front of me. The sight of actually being in front of her, sent me into a wave of lightheadedness- but a pleasant, welcoming one.

I turned to my side, to see Charles, "How did you do that?"

A smile of wisdom rested on his face, as he looked up at me, "I didn't do anything, Peter. You knew where to go, all on your own. What you do with your time, is what's important. Don't make a mistake- you're only allowed one last visit- use it wisely."

And just like that, he was gone.

_Use your time wisely…_

I turned back to Claire, she was so beautiful. It hadn't ever ceased- but it seem magnified now, more intense, like immensely sharpened beauty, that I'd never paid attention to before. Did this changed vision come with being sort of dead? I hated to admit it, but I knew it was it.

Why hadn't I told her just how gorgeous she was, when I was alive? Well I had, but it had never been enough. Because what lay before was beyond what any definition could give. And I had taken all of it for granted. I hadn't cherished her enough.

With out thinking about it, I took off my shoes and jacket, and got into bed with her. Was it me, or where the sheets softer as well? Her skin certainly was, and that was odd. It had some type of protective barrier against me, that I couldn't explain- a wall. I could still touch her, feel her, embrace her- but something was keeping me from forming a complete connection.

I laid behind her, and felt her chest rise and fall, in her deep sleep. My hand was trembling, as it rested on her hair, and moved it to the side, so I could close in my lips to her ear.

"Wake up, Claire", I whispered, in what I hoped was a steady voice. The last thing she needed to see, was that I was scared myself- I owed this to her, I owed her a good, goodbye. Trembling, and with my eyes closed, my lips met her neck tenderly- very careful, not to scare her.

Her response was immediate. The muscles in her back had tensed slightly, and I could see that her breathing had ceased- but before she could move away, I wrapped my arm tightly around her torso, willing her to stay with me.

I didn't know why- maybe it was me really, realizing that this was goodbye, but my throat tightened, and I closed my eyes, "I love you, Claire."

She started turning around- it was too soon, I didn't want her to see the pain that this was causing me. I didn't want her to see just how much it would kill me to leave her again- because she deserved to be happy. So I did what I knew would make her happy- I plastered a smile on my face, to meet hers.

God, her smile was like my own personal heaven.

Her hands cupped my face in such a quickness, that I had not expected- pulling my to her lips, with immediate need. And it didn't stop, her force was amazing, it was full of want, and love. It was everything I was feeling, everything that I needed from her too. Then she pulled away for a second, still smiling- and her voice was a whisper, "I knew you'd wake up- they didn't think you would. But I knew you'd be ok."

My chest was hit with a pang of hurt again, but I didn't let my smile falter. I couldn't let her be in pain in our last meeting. My heart was rising then, and I realized that- no. This couldn't be our end, this couldn't just be it. I wouldn't let it, I wouldn't let go of her. Maybe that was it- maybe if I just hung on to her- maybe if I just wished to my very core to be alive again- it would happen?

I believed it, so I nodded, "And I'm staying here with you."

She kissed me again, and I welcomed it- anything of her was glorious to me. Our kisses deepened, and I too clung to it, clung to the serene and joyous feeling that she brought me. I could stay like this with her forever, and be content.

"Will you stay with me forever?" her whisper was laced with unnecessary worry. How could I ever refuse such a privileged invitation?

I let my fingers graze over the smooth skin of her cheek, and push back the bangs that were hiding the eyes I had locked that fateful day in Odessa. I smiled, remembering how beautiful I had thought she was. Never had I thought I would be as lucky as to have her as my own, she'd been my very own destiny.

"Forever."

Claire forced her lips on my own eager ones again, and pinned me down, gracing me with her love. We moved against each other with such grace, and comfort, fitting perfectly to become one. But she pulled apart too soon, and sat up, smiling.

"I'll be right back. Don't move, ok?" she ordered.

I had to smile, I loved her power in her command. I nodded then, and she jumped off her bed, racing out of the door.

I let myself fall back against the pillows and closed my eyes for a minute, breathing in deeply. I felt so whole, so complete with her. Even when I had thought I was in love with Simone, she hadn't brought me this much- feeling. I hadn't needed her as much as I'd needed Claire.

"I warned you to be careful", Charles voice spoke next to me, like a father lightly scorning his child after being clumsy.

I turned to look at him, convinced in my power to be with her, "I'm staying."

He shook his head, and for once, was not smiling at all, "You can't, Peter. You aren't part of this world anymore. You've made her hold on you stronger, she won't let you pass."

"I don't want to pass! I can stay her with her! Just now, I could hold her, and she could see me, if I just stay here with her forever-"

"You _can't_. You promised her something, that you cannot give her. Now she has the illusion that you're back, that you've woken up- and you let her believe it." For the first time, since I had met Charles, his voice was sharp, "Deep down, you, yourself know that this isn't real. You can feel that you aren't part of the living, yet you deluded yourself in the moment, and because of that- there will be consequences for Claire, and yourself."

I swallowed, "What do you mean?"

He turned towards the door with pity in his eyes, "Go look for yourself."

Instantly, I stood up, and raced out of her room, following the subtle scent that she'd left behind, like cookie crumbs for me to follow.

My heart raced against my chest, as I ran down the steps towards the sound of her voice now. She sounded bubbly, happy, even. But then again, why wouldn't she? I had promised forever.

I finally spotted her, as she passed by a sobbing Heidi. She didn't stop though, and I kept following her, but slowed down, to try and hug Heidi- only, I couldn't.

Something wouldn't allow me to touch her, and even as I stood directly in front of her, she didn't see me. It was like I was invisible. What was happening? I swallowed, and kept walking, telling myself over and over again, that Claire could see me. She was all that mattered, and she could see me, everything else was just a tragic loss.

She stopped in front my mom. She'd been crying, I could see redness in her puffy eyes, and dried tear streaks with black mascara. I hated to see her cry too, I'd never meant to cause my mom pain. I'd been selfish for years, but I'd always assumed that she was immune to all of it. Now seeing her in any pain of all, made me guilty- hadn't she seen my death coming anyway?

Claire let out a giggle, and actual giggle in front of my mom, and spoke, "Why are you crying? You should be celebrating!"

She was so happy, that she jumped up on her toes to give my mom a kiss on her cheek, and hug her. But it didn't help, my mothers cries became louder and deeper. I couldn't take it, I went up to her, to try and hug her- to make her feel better, but nothing happened. She too had some barrier against me- that wouldn't let me touch her.

My throat was dry. This couldn't be happening, I'd promised Claire. I reached out for her, but she had already stepped away, and turned to see a morbid, and stoic Nathan.

He looked worse than my mom and Heidi, if possible. He wasn't bawling hysterically, but I could see that his eyes were filled with water ready to erupt at any moment.

"What's wrong, Nathan? Why is everyone crying? Peter's ok." She announced happily.

Nathan breathed shallowly, and put his arms on Claire's shoulders, "Claire- you need to be strong."

I could see the faith draining from her- evaporating slowly- her smile was gone. And the truth was I didn't care what Charles had said, I wouldn't let this be it, I wouldn't let myself leave her again.

"What are you talking about? What's going on? Peter's fine." But even as she said it, a very small part of her didn't believe this anymore, and it crushed me.

_"Yes. I am fine! I'm right here."_ I let out eagerly in front of her. Just as I'd feared though, she didn't turn to me, she didn't meet my eyes- my presence was ignored. I put out a hand to touch her, and I could.

I could still feel the warmth of her skin in my fingers. I wrapped my fingers around her wrist, but my grasp wasn't the same anymore. I backed away from her, nervously, and turned towards Nathan, as he spoke again, "He's dead, Claire. Mohinder called me this morning- they've transported his body to the morgue-to- they're getting him ready-"

"No!" she screamed, pushing Nathan aside, to race away. She swallowed, as I followed, and I could see her chest moving violently.

She didn't stop, not even to comfort Heidi, who was still crying, and shaking. Instead, she ran up the stairs, resting her hand on the wall, until she got to her room. Her eyes went directly to her bed, where I was not laying anymore.

"Peter?"

I stood directly in front of her, and mustered all the will power and strength that I had, together, _"I'm right here Claire. Right **here**. Please- please look at me. I know you can see me."_

She passed straight though me. Sprinting towards the bathroom, but shutting it again, when I wasn't there. She turned around and walked out of her room, all the while calling out my name, and supporting her body on the wall as she hurried down the stairs.

Each time she called my name it was with more desperation, louder, scared- each time I answered she couldn't hear me. The harder I tried- the softer it seemed that my words came out, until they became a whisper.

When Claire reached the bottom of the stairs, and walked down the hall, until she couldn't any longer- she fell to her knees, yelling out for me, with Nathan catching her as she fell, in tears, and then everything went black again.

* * *

TBC...


	3. Chapter 2: Paris

**The Funeral**  
Chapter 2  
"Paris"

I woke up, with the sun blaring right down at me. For a few seconds I actually believed everything that had happened, had just been some horrible nightmare that my brain had produced, but when I looked around to see that I was on the roof of the Deveaux building, everything came back to me.

A knot formed in my throat, and tears followed. I couldn't help it, I really couldn't. I had been with her, and promised to stay, and now I was back to the vacant funeral place again. Not even Charles was here- I'd probably never see him again- I'd never see anyone….I'd never see Claire.

How could I let that be my end? What was I supposed to do now? Just wait around? And for how long? The fact of the matter was, that I'd prefer just not to exist at all than be stuck in my hellish limbo. It was agony having the knowledge that I'd never be content with my Claire, again.

It seemed like for hours, that I just laid there, in my own misery. I hated so many things at that moment- I hated existence itself for making things like this even possible.

Tears rolled down my eyes, and my throat ached. It became incredibly difficult to breathe, to the point where I wondered if I'd have some type of anxiety attack- but then I remembered I was sort of halfway dead. I couldn't die again. I could only still feel pain, only- I realized- pain here (where it was) had intensified. The pounding in my head after so much crying, became so unbearable then, that I passed out again.

_  
Later_

My eyes opened to reveal a new scenery. It wasn't new per say, but it wasn't the roof of the Deveaux building either- it was Claire's room again. My heart palpitated, and did summersaults at the joy it brought me to be back there.

What had I done to bring myself there? Obviously I had wished to be with Claire since I had woken up in the beginning- that was the only place I ever wanted to be. But why was it that I was there again? Now?

I yawned, and stretched, hearing bones crack in different areas of my body- when I had been alive, I'd never heard those types of noises- why now? Again, this whole 'Funeral' thing confused the hell out of me. But I shook all of that off, it wasn't what was important- I just wanted to find Claire.

Then, she was there, sleeping next to me, with red swollen eyes, and tear stains on her cheeks. I could hear her sobs, her yearning, and her body trembling. My hand stretched out to comfort her, and to tell her I was there, like before- only I couldn't touch her. The barrier that I'd had with Heidi, and Nathan was there with her as well.

She mumbled something incoherent and soft, that I couldn't make out, but her pain was evident. She hugged her pillow to her face with great force, and screamed into it, like someone was physically abusing her. It angered me, more than I could possibly explain. I'd never meant for my death to bring her so much pain. To be honest- I hadn't thought I'd affect her this much at all.

I just wanted to console her- tell her it was ok, that if things turned out for the best, then maybe at least we'd see each other later, and finally be together. If she could just-

My heart dropped.

There wouldn't be a later on- there would be no us together ever again. Because my Claire would never die. Tears formed in my eyes, and I felt my chest getting heavy- too heavy. I couldn't take the truth- we were honestly and forever more screwed.

Romeo and Juliet weren't the true star-crossed lovers, because at least they had both died, and had gone to hell together. No, while I would forever be dead, Claire would stay alive.

I stretched my fingers again, knowing I would find that fuzzy barrier between us, unable to let me touch her. But for a brief second, a small glorious moment, my fingers grazed over her hand, hard enough so that she felt it, and her crying stopped.

She looked to where I was laying next to her, her eyes grew for a second, and she swallowed, "Peter?"

I nodded, and moved my hand to touch her face, finding that my fingers could make an airy connection to her. It was sheer- hardly anything, but it was everything too.

Her eyes filled with tears again, and her hand raised to her face, where my fingers had been , " I miss you so much. Why did you leave me?"

_"I'm here- I'm staying right here."_ I let out confident that she could hear me. I would keep coming back, I would find a way to make this permanent- I knew I would.

Sobs erupted from her again, "_Pe-ter_. Please, please come back!"

I cried harder along with her- I didn't care at all, I just wanted this to stop. I couldn't take seeing her cry so much.

"I- I'm s-so sorry! I should have loved you more." Her apology startled me. This wasn't her fault at all, it was all my carelessness. I was the one who had brought Elle into my life- given her hope, I led her on. I should have known she would go completely crazy and pull something like attempting to kill Claire.

There was a knock at the door, but Claire didn't acknowledge it. She simply stayed put, crying into her pillow. I turned to see who was at the door. It was Andy.

Strangely, I felt jealousy. After Claire had told me that he was gay, any resentment that I'd felt for him, had evaporated- because I had Claire anyway. But now he could be with her, as a friend, as someone to comfort her- what I wanted myself to be, and for that, I loathed him.

He was dressed in a black suit, as if he was going out to a fancy dinner, or…a funeral. Andy closed the door behind him, and sighed, walking over to Claire's bed, and sat by her side.

It was so easy for him to simply run his fingers through her hair- comforting her. It wasn't romantic at all, after all he was gay, but god I was so jealous.

"Claire", he spoke softly, knowing how fragile she was, "You have to get ready, Claire. We have to leave for his funeral."

She burst into sobs again, and tightened the grip on her pillow, "He lied to me, Andy. He promised he'd stay with me forever. He promised."

I had.

**_Flashback_**

_Peter lifted her chin, tears streaming down her face, "Why are you crying, Claire? It's just a movie."_

_Claire sniffed, letting a tiny sob out and, though she tried to steady her breathing, her voice still cracked, "It's just- th-the thought of that happening to you!"_

_Peter smiled and kissed her wet lips and cheeks, "Oh, baby, I'm never leaving you."_

_She sniffled against him- her heart still in turmoil over the thought of him permanently gone- forever. "Promise?"_

_He nodded and kissed her again, more passionately that time, "I promise never-ever to leave you, Claire. I'm going to spend eternity with you."_

**_End Flashback._**

"The worst part- the thing that makes me angry the most- is…I didn't tell anyone." She paused to exhale a sob into her pillow and let a few more tears roll down her beautiful face.

It was true, she hadn't, and neither had I. When I had been alive I'd been upset, because I'd wanted to confess our love to everyone. I wanted to tell my mom, Nathan- regardless of what the outcome would be. It was partially selfish, I knew that, so I never did it.

It didn't make a difference now though, if people knew or not- because I was dead. Where Claire was breathing and feeling, I was cold, and unmoving, forevermore. I hated to think of what it would do to her, to see my body laying listlessly in a coffin. Truth be told, I wasn't sure I'd be able to stomach it myself.

Andy sat on the bed next to her, spooning her, with his arms wrapped around her. My nose flared, and it made me despise him even more at that moment, but I could see how it very subtly helped her, and for that I was thankful.

He kissed the side of her cheek, and sighed, "You loved him, Claire, and he you- you both knew that, so fuck the rest of the world."

No. Suddenly, only because he said it, I disagreed, for I too believed the rest of the world should have known about our love, incestuous or not. It yearned to be acknowledged. Regardless of what Nathan, my mom, or Heidi would think, they needed to see, that it had always been her, my Claire.

I wanted my love for Claire to haunt Elle, I wanted our joy, and love rubbed in her face, I wanted her to have nightmares of it. I wanted her to curse the day, that she separated us.

The seething inside me, surprised me, my breath heightened, my eyes were still hot, and full of tears, but it wasn't sadness anymore that I felt, no, it was more determination, than anything else. It stirred a wave of slight tingling through out me, and I knew what was coming next.

I was leaving again, or going to sleep, whatever it was that always happened. But I knew, with all that was within me, that it was ok. I wasn't scared, because I'd see Claire again, I was sure of it.

…..

When I came to, I was back on the roof of the Deveaux building, it was what I'd come to realize, was my mother ship. It was my home, while I was here at 'The Funeral'.

Every word of their conversation, rang clear in my head though, and one concise thought, came together for me. I felt like a puzzle in my head had clicked together, to reveal a masterpiece, with answers I had been searching for. It scared me to think of it, it frightened me, that it could be the end of my stay here, if I chose to do it. But if I didn't, I would be haunted for the rest of my existence, with Claire, in constant pain.

And while, what I dreaded more than anything was to leave her, and never see her beautiful face again, her peace was the most important thing to me. If it took the world knowing about our love, then it's what needed to happen, the world would know that I, Peter Petrelli had loved, Claire Bennet.

I knew how they would know as well, nothing was better than first hand proof. Pierre, the photographer in Paris, had that. He had first hand evidence, of just what Claire meant to me, of how much our love had inspired him to film us, without even knowing about it.

From what I had gathered after being in Claire's bedroom earlier, was that it couldn't have even been a week after my death, which meant it was still spring. And the pictures that had been taken in Paris, that I had done with Maya were meant for the fall campaign of this year. No pictures were scheduled be advertised until the end of June. I had time.

I thought about Pierre, over and over again- I had to visualize him, think of him, until it tired me, so that I could be there. I tried remembering what his accent had sounded like, what he had said to us, and any emotion that he had stirred in me that day.

Nothing came though, as much as I tried engraving his face into my memory, I couldn't bring anything up. All I could see was the bridge where we had been foolishly embraced, in an intimate hug. I could only see where I had nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck, and made her smile.

Her smile, I remember feeling like all the weight had been lifted off my shoulders with that sad smile. The way her lips arched up, and she'd scrunch her nose, made my heart melt, just thinking of it. I remember how I felt at that moment too. Guilt, shame, regret, all of that had filled me up then, I felt infinitely flawed for worrying her, for even being selfish enough, to pull her into my tainted world.

Thoughts of the Paris trip, and all that had happened that after noon, played over in my mind, in a scratchy black and white film, like a carousel. It spun, replaying all her expressions, all her movements, all that she did, all that I loved. It lulled me to sleep, and for once, since I had died, I fell asleep with a smile.

* * *

Note: This wasn't beta'd, so forgive, my many grammatical errors!  
xoxo  
Ari


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